The Groom’s Room – The Proposal Part 1

Posted on February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine’s Day all!  Today marks the start of a new series called ‘The Groom’s Room’.  This series is written by my lovely brother Mark, who is going to be a Best Man for the first time this year.  Whilst preparing for this all important role, it really struck him that there is a serious lack of wedding blogs geared towards men. So after a little arm twisting from his big sister, he agreed to come on board to give a male perspective on things.  First up today, is the proposal…

For many men, the time comes when they find themselves truly happy in a relationship. It is at this point that they start planning the next step in their life… the proposal.  Proposing is something a wedding planner can’t do for you.  This is a personal and important moment for any relationship and can help define the beginning of the marriage process.

Probably the single most daunting moment in a man’s life has to be realised – asking your future father-in-law’s permission to marry his daughter!  In this day and age, not all men decide to ask the father for permission first. This is obviously his choice, but he should be aware, some woman will not take kindly to a boyfriend avoiding a very traditional step of the engagement. If you have any doubts then ask!  It’s polite, traditional, and I would always recommend it unless there is an obvious reason not to.

We all know that the proposal is a moment woman dream about from an early age. Films and TV shows have raised woman’s expectations further so there is a lot of pressure on a man to get it right.  There is no second chance.  This means a man should not rush into the moment.  Instead, he should plan it meticulously to make sure it is perfect for his future bride.

The phrase above, “perfect for his bride” epitomises the whole act.  The proposal does not have to be the most lavish event and it doesn’t have to be done on a Caribbean Island.  However, if this is what your partner wants then you should try to achieve it. This isn’t just about getting her to say yes, it’s the beginning of a journey that will be the biggest influence on the rest of your life, which is why it’s important to start it in a good way.

Not all women want the same thing so it is vital that you think carefully about exactly what your partner would want.  If she has always dreamt of being proposed to on a beach in an exotic location then try and accomplish this.  If it isn’t feasible then find an alternative, like a local beach (easy for us near Bournemouth!) or create your own beach-style setting.  The whole point is you need to be imaginative and try to realise her dreams.

Of course you want this moment to be perfect. Everything from the setting, the words you use and, of course, the ring that you give!  Remember, the amount of effort you go to will help make this moment special.  Simple things, such as using words that she will love, will complete the moment. It doesn’t have to cost the earth to make a proposal perfect.  If you are really nervous then try to relax.  You want to surprise her (if you can) but, if you are incredibly nervous, she is likely to suspect you’re planning something.  Try to enjoy the moment; you should enjoy it just as much as your partner.

Thanks Mark.  Check back later today for Part 2 of The Proposal.

Photo credit:
Cushion and sign: Not on the High Street

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